


What We Do To Each Other

by stelliums



Series: Magical Girl AU [2]
Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Magical Girls, Cheating, Darkness Addict Riku (Kingdom Hearts), F/M, Healing Sex, Mentioned Ventus (Kingdom Hearts), Mild Sexual Content, Multi, POV Aqua (Kingdom Hearts), POV Riku (Kingdom Hearts), Past Aqua/Terra (Kingdom Hearts) - Freeform, Past Character Death, Short Chapters, Unhealthy Relationships, healing touch
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:53:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25977004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stelliums/pseuds/stelliums
Summary: A thousand nights Aqua has spent idle, in the arms of an unfaithful conduit – a healer, a friend, a kindred spirit. But desperate souls are easy to find in a city that brims with them.
Relationships: Aqua/Riku (Kingdom Hearts), Kairi/Riku/Sora (Kingdom Hearts), Riku/Xion (Kingdom Hearts)
Series: Magical Girl AU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1913002
Kudos: 2





	1. Another Night Wasted

**Author's Note:**

> Gem - a stone-like item that carries the essence of its bearer. Without it, the bearer would cease to exist.   
> Conduit - an otherwise unremarkable person with the ability to remove the darkness from a gem.

It was just the night to hunt for monsters. Monsters that were once like herself, young girls and boys with hope in their eyes and boundless light in their hearts. The young woman placed a hand against the gem attached to her vest-top. It shone with bright blue light. Perfect. Everything was as it should be. There were others like herself, who had not yet succumbed to the darkness that the creatures spread, stalking through the city to protect those who remained unaware of the threat.

She passed another girl, another one of them, with a trio of daggers attached to her belt. A fourth, gripped in her hand, held an orange gem in its silver hilt. A careless place to fit a gem. It’s glow was already starting to dull, to blacken as though ink had been injected into it. Her eyes averted downward as the girl passed her. 

“...Be careful. You might not survive another battle.” She murmured, loud enough for her to hear. The younger girl wore a thin purple cloak over her head but it failed to cover her bright, blue eyes. “You should purify your gem soon, before I find my staff turned against you.”

“Aqua, I’m going to be fine. You reminded me of impending doom every day this week.” A laugh came from underneath the cloak. It was a schoolgirl’s laugh. Aqua didn’t want to know where else she had seen the girl, who she had seen her walking with, whose arms she had seen her in. Those were dangerous details to know in their line of work. “If I didn’t die yesterday, I’m not going to die today. Where are you going? They were seen over in this district.” She pointed to the business district. The high skyscrapers would make for dynamic battles, but not convenient ones.

“Don’t expect me to cry for you.”

“I don’t! I expect your staff to be poking out each side of me.” Xion turned gracefully to face her. Her feet kept perfect balance on the railing of the unfinished building that they stood on. “But they won’t get me yet, so I’ll save you the anguish.”

Aqua was tempted to retort that if she truly had to use her staff against her, then she would be pierced with magic rather than stabbed as though she was wielding a spear. She didn’t have time to reply - Xion had jumped from the railing before she could say a word. The other magical girl was lucky that their kind were inhumanly light. A fall, even from that height, was unlikely to harm her unless she failed to land on her feet.

Her steps were deliberate as she took herself in the opposite direction to where Xion was heading. She knew better than to launch into the fray without proper preparation. The alleyway looked as though it would be a hotspot for monsters, but the grungy, thin strip of pavement had been left untouched. Aqua tapped on one of the doors, the only one that had light shining through the window. One, two, three times. He had to know that it was her by now.

Riku answered the door on the second knock. “...Back again? I... didn’t expect to see you this early, I thought the creatures were nocturnal.” It wasn’t as though Riku could know for himself; he was unable to see them. His silver hair was tied in a ponytail and his green eyes looked over her wearily. She smiled at him, as sweetly as she could muster, before he allowed her inside.

“The usual please, Riku.” 

Her fingers traced over her gem as she took a seat on Riku’s couch. The gem was shining brightly, but she was certain that she had seen darkness creep in it’s edges. It was better to purify it before and after she went out, just in case. Riku sat down beside her and leaned forward to kiss her. With each passing second his hand wandered towards the gem. He kept his hand against it as Aqua pulled him closer. This was the most effective way of purifying a gem; allowing someone else to absorb it. Others like herself refused to perform this ritual on each other, as it would spell the destruction of the one who took on the darkness if they absorbed too much. But human conduits, like Riku, didn’t have such limitations.

She took the hairband out of Riku’s hair, leaving the spun silver to spill over his shoulders. “Be quick...” She breathed as he made easy work of undoing her and she did the same with his clothes. It was only a job for Riku, a way to utilise his abilities that gave both he and Aqua something that they both wanted. Her back arched off of the sofa as she felt the gem glow brighter than she had ever seen it.

Aqua awoke with the rising sun, to the sound of voices outside. The straps of her top were hanging off of her shoulders and her skirt was pulled on the wrong way, which meant that someone had tried to dress her in a hurry while she had still been asleep. Yet another precious night wasted against Riku’s body. She knew that she should have been fighting. That was what she had become a magical girl to do, to protect others from the rapidly-spreading darkness.

“You feel better now, don’t you?” Riku’s voice came from another room. He tilted up another girl’s chin. She only nodded but shied away from him, her short, dark hair covering her face. Riku carried on, his tone silky smooth. “I’m trying to help you, Xion. If I didn’t see you collapse outside, you would have been a goner.”

Xion. She had pushed herself too far, as Aqua had predicted. The dagger that held her gem was on the side of the table. It was impossible to tell what colour it had been – the orange glow had subsided and it had turned a murky shade of black. Riku was right. It was a miracle that she had managed to survive.

“What are you trying to pull?! Is this some trick, to get girls to sleep with you? I don’t care what you say, I’m going home even if I have to drag myself back!” Xion pushed him away from her.

Riku was taken aback. “One kiss. One, to prove to you that it works. After that, you don’t have to come back. The only reason why you’re here now is because you _collapsed_ in the middle of the street.” He didn’t need to explain any further.

Xion kissed him, as though she was taking darkness from him rather than the other way around. There was desperation in the kiss, and hope that Riku was telling the truth. She wiped her mouth after she had pulled away. “Never again. Not unless I have to. And don’t tell anyone else about this, I can’t have anything spreading around about me–“

“–Now look at your gem.” The darkness had subsided slightly, and the original amber colour could be seen through it. It glowed ever so slightly, nowhere near as bright as Aqua’s gem had. Riku picked up the dagger and twirled it before he handed it back to her. “You’re welcome. Feel free to come again, any time.”

She slipped the dagger back into her belt and raised her hood again. “Yeah, right. I’m skipping class today... tell them I’m sick. I really need to rest.” Xions’ steps were shaky as she left the building, leaning on the wall for support. She was too focused on leaving – or too embarrassed – to notice Aqua sitting nearby. It would be a few days before she could recover on her own. But, knowing Xion, it would only be a handful of days at most before she needed assistance again.


	2. An Ordinary Day

The bell rung to signal the end of the day’s classes as students rushed in a never-ending river out of the door. Their blue-and-white uniforms varied from neat to messy to modified. Riku was one of the first out of the doors, with Sora and Kairi holding onto his hands. Sora, a bright boy with brown, spiked hair and a permanent grin on his freckled face, carried a bounce in his step. Kairi was relatively calm compared to Sora, her red, shoulder-length hair complimenting a uniform that she had ‘accidentally’ dyed pink.

They were engaged in conversation about the project they had been given during their last class. Riku couldn’t be any less interested; the projects hardly contributed to their final grade, but it was an excuse to spend more time with his partners. Sora and Kairi had grown distant lately, disappearing late at night and arriving to morning classes either exhausted or hyped up from coffee. It hadn’t taken him long to figure out why, although the explanation had never left their lips. While Sora was distracted, he slipped a hand into his back pocket and took out a red orb attached to a chain. It looked as though it was covered in dirt or dust. Riku only held it for a few moments, tracing his fingers over it lovingly, and placed it back once he was satisfied with it’s colour.

“Riku, did you–?”

Riku pretended to look flustered. “...Did I _what_? I didn’t do anything.” Somehow, acting suspicious was more effective than trying to hide his actions properly.

“Come on! I saw you!”

Kairi laughed at them, swinging Riku’s arm. Neither of them were any wiser about what he knew about them. He couldn’t help but feel a pang in his chest when he thought about keeping this knowledge from them but he assumed that they felt the same about making it a secret in the first place.

“Anyway... we need another person.” Kairi said, seemingly continuing the discussion that Riku had only been half-engaged in. He raised an eyebrow at her, unsure of the context for her words.

Riku paused when the river of students had reduced to a trickle and pulled Kairi closer to him. “Do you think so...? I think we work better as just the three of us.” He kissed her lips while playing with the circular purple pendant on her necklace. With each passing minute it’s colour lightened to a shade of lilac. “Why would we need anyone else? You’re one of smartest ones here.”

“I meant we need someone else for the _project_ , not us!” She crossed her arms, her face flushed from the public affection. Riku wasn’t prone to it like Sora was; had it come across as odd to her? Perhaps Kairi and Sora should be glad that their boyfriend was learning to be more open about their relationship. “I was thinking we should ask Xion.”

His mind immediately went to the sight of the dark-clad girl that had been sprawled out on the road last night, in the earliest hours of the morning. It had been impossible to tell what colour her gem was when he had first found her. The phantom sensation of her lips on his, and the rush that the darkness that had drained her had given him. Xion hadn’t been in class that day. He shouldn’t have been surprised – she had told him herself that she was taking a day to rest.

“Xion?”

His girlfriend squeezed his hand. “Yeah. Is that a problem? She’s always been kind of quiet, sitting there at the back of the class. And she wasn’t in today, so she wouldn’t know about the project...” Kairi’s face was full of worry, even though she had hardly spoken to Xion before.

“We should try to know her better! She looks... lonely. She could use some friends like us.” Sora chimed in. He always sought the best in people, both of them did. It was one of the many things that he loved about them. “Wait, isn’t that her? Over there, in the park? We should ask her now, and explain the project to her!”

A girl with choppy, dark hair was sat on one of the swings. She wore a plain, grey hoodie – one of the most unremarkable items of clothing – and a pair of scuffed converses. Beside her was a boy that Riku hadn’t seen before except in passing. His golden hair matched the colours of the sunset. He wore the same uniform that he did, so Riku guessed that he recognised him from the hallways.

Sora had let go of his hand and was sprinting towards the pair before Riku was able to object. Kairi followed suit without a second thought. Riku walked behind them and leaned against the park gate while his partners went inside and started to explain the project to Xion. Seemingly as distracted as he had been, her eyes met his and she glanced away.

Xion’s voice was comparable to a whisper. There had been nothing wrong with her voice when Riku had met her. “...Are you sure? I don’t get amazing grades in that class, so I’d probably just pull you down.”

“Of course we are! We need a fourth person, and maybe this project can help you out with your grades a little.” Kairi insisted.

Sora gave her a warm smile that Xion could only replicate in return. “Hey, don’t worry. Kai got the best grades in the class on the last test, and Riku’s not so bad himself! If we start a study group, we’ll ace the finals for sure.” He glanced over at Riku when Xion’s eyes started to wander in his direction again. “What do you think?”

Riku hopped over the gate and noticed Xion curl in on herself as he approached. She seemed smaller now, even compared to her weakened state. Was it a projection of weakness, or had she not fully recovered yet? “...That’s fine. This is our last year, so we should probably do anything we can to help our final grades.” He agreed.

“Great!” Kairi checked her phone and muttered something under her breath. Her phone case was pink and shaped like a cat’s face, with tiny ears poking out of the top. Cute, but inconvenient to fit in pockets. “Crap. We need to get home. We should meet up sometime to discuss the project, okay?” She grabbed Sora and gave Riku a quick kiss on the cheek. “See you later!”

“Bye!” Sora added. He hugged Riku tightly until he was dragged out of the park by Kairi. The two held hands while they walked in the direction of their homes. Riku couldn’t help but be jealous that they lived so close to each other but that was as far as jealousies went in their relationship.

Xion spoke up after a few moments. “It’s... you.” He tried to decipher her expressions but her face was turned away from him. Her arms embraced her own body. “I...”

Riku glanced around. It seemed that Xion’s friend had slipped away. He and Xion were left alone; he was suddenly aware of how dark it was getting. “I thought you were at home, resting.” He sat down on the empty swing, absentmindedly swinging back and forth.

“I was. Now I’m here. What’s your deal, anyway? I know you have one– if you don’t have a gem, you must have _something_ going on with you. You kissed me, and now you’re trying to get close to me? Why can’t you just let this go!” She stood up from her swing. Her hands were balled into fists. It sounded as though she was the one who refused to let go of that night, although he couldn’t deny that he had savoured it too. “What are you even getting from it?!”

“It’s simple, really. I absorb the darkness in your gem so you can keep on fighting so recklessly. It operates on touch, so something like a kiss can melt away a portion, but not as much as more intimate touch.” He spoke without getting embarrassed or flustered. That was, though, the reaction that his explanation provoked in the red-faced girl in front of him. “If you need to see me again, you know where I am.”

Riku stood up and started to walk in the direction of his own home. He knew that he had left Xion there, alone in the park with that annoyed, embarrassed and confused expression on her face. The thought made a smile twitch at the edge of his lips. She would be crawling back for his services again soon, he didn’t doubt it for a second. There were many in the city that required them, although some abstained or were simply more careful than the others. But those who fought to their dying breath without fail, tasting death but never being snatched by its grip? They were his most reliable and treasured customers.


	3. Wait For Me

A stroll through the park in the minutes before sunset had always been pleasing for her. Aqua kept her staff close by - it was too early to be faced with the creatures, but time didn’t constrain the opportunistic or the criminal. The nearby school would be finished for the day. Most students would be walking in the opposite direction to her, towards the boarding houses. The school was a centre for orphans and other, troubled children. She couldn’t say that she would be surprised if more than one of the others attended, currently or previously. Wayward youth with something to prove were particularly drawn to her life. Whether through accident or design she was unable to tell.

There was a cluster of figures around the play-park itself, sat on the fence or on the swings. More students, reluctant to go home or to their dorm for the night. They were far enough away for Aqua to find them unrecognisable. Another student strolled across the field towards her. He was a boy of seventeen or eighteen, with messy strands of gold covered by a grey beanie. He paused in his steps upon seeing her, inquisitive blue eyes leaving no part of her odd-looking outfit or her staff unexamined.

“...Ven?”

Ven. Her heartbeat hammered his name. Ven, Ven, Ven. It was the heartbeat of someone that had been balancing on the brink of the end and yet, miraculously, had been prevented from tumbling down into that great nothingness. The ground shook beneath her. An earthquake? Her eyes refused to open, her body refused to move despite resting on hard, rough, cracked concrete. Concrete. That was right - they were in the new financial district. It had been under construction for months now. The creatures had plagued it ever since the project had begun and they followed the monsters wherever they went. 

Her sight was blurred when her eyes found the strength to open. The air was clouded with dust and debris. Aqua slowly reached an arm upwards to feel for the warmth of the sun, or the cooler air of night and early morning. How long had she been laid there? The thick air covered up all traces of the sky, any hint of time. She forced herself to sit up, to stand, despite the shockwaves of pain that each movement sent through her body. Another slab of concrete fell from a building above into a growing pile nearby. Her hand instinctively reached for the nearest wall as the ground trembled again. 

Aqua stumbled and limped forward, using her staff for support. Her foot tapped against something small, something that rolled ahead of her when given momentum until it stopped against another heap of rubble. Her breath caught in her throat when she discovered that it glowed with a gentle, pink light. The closer she looked, the more lights she found amongst the destruction. One hand traced against the gem attached to her chest. If she had been fated to die that night, her gem would be on the ground too, offering up it’s light to any passing soul that required it. At that moment, she thought with a sinking sensation in her chest, she was the one that needed the strength of those that had been lost. 

She caught a glimpse of herself in a shattered pane of glass. Her cropped hair and elegant clothes were caked in dust and blood. What disturbed her most, though, was her gem, which still glowed despite her otherwise desperate condition. Ven. She remembered now - Ven had lent her his strength when she had started to become overwhelmed. A grim thought crossed her mind, and an even grimmer image accompanied it. The image of Ven wandering the wastes of their battleground like herself, calling out her name, searching the ownerless gems for a familiar blue glow. The image of him gazing into a reflective surface or the bracelet on his wrist and getting the inescapable feeling, the knowledge that he didn’t have much time left.

Where was he now? Desperate eyes scanned over the gems again. None were the same shade of green that glinted in the light emitted by Ventus’s arrows. She allowed herself to let out a breath. There was still hope.

“Ven? Ven?! Ven?!” She called at the top of her lungs, to the rhythm of the rapid thumping of her heart. The sound of her voice would alert anything nearby, friend or foe. From the desolate appearance of the area, Aqua doubted that there were many of either close by. Her voice grew hoarse and her legs trembled. She wouldn’t be able to go on much further.

Out of the corner of her eye, she thought she could see a human figure in the distance. A lithe yet masculine figure, cloaked in shadow. A rush of adrenaline, or desperation, shot through her and somehow she was running, running towards him as though she hadn’t been limping seconds before.

“I thought I’d– I can’t believe I’ve–“ Aqua glanced around for the boy she had seen. Where he had stood lay a green gem, knocked out of the bracelet that Ven had always worn it in. She picked it up and held it close, squeezing her eyes shut as though she could summon him if she closed them tightly enough. Her body felt less heavy than it had a moment before but her heart felt as though it was made of lead. “...Found... You...” The words came out in sobs.

Her screaming would alert all of the creatures in the area, multiplied by the bodies and darkness of the fallen. She was aware of it, yet she still screamed, loud enough to rival the sounds of buildings crumbling around her. Aqua had promised Terra – Terra, her ever-patient fiancé waiting at home – that she wouldn’t leave Ven behind, or lead him into harm’s way. Ven had been like a brother to him, to both of them. She had promised Ven that she would keep him safe.

Aqua blinked. She heard the singing of birds in the trees that surrounded the park and felt the trunk of a tree beside her rather than concrete or broken glass. She watched the boy stare at her. His blue eyes were a deeper shade than Ven’s had been, a deep ocean rather than a sky filled with wisps of cloud. She took a deep breath and shook her head, wiping tears from her eyes. The stranger went on his way, seemingly undisturbed. What a lovely thing it would be, Aqua thought, to enjoy the taste of a regular life.


	4. Your Hidden Truths

Her wavering, heavy breathing as she flitted around the city, humanoid creatures pursuing behind, made Aqua realise how long it had been since she had truly fought. Inaction had made her less responsive, less agile, less suceptible to the high of battle that heightened the performance of many others. She refused to glance over her shoulder at how many foes she had caught the attention of.

Aqua hopped up onto a telegraph pole and hoped that it was enough to prevent them from reaching her. This trick had been easier when Ven had been there to provide lookout, or to shoot down those who had strayed too close to her. She closed her eyes and focused her energy on the staff in her hand. A shockwave spread throughout the area, weakening the creatures that filled the streets. Smaller, targeted beams hit the stragglers, the creatures that hadn’t yet vanished. Watching them disappear made her feel as she had when she was new – like an avenging angel, purging darkness from the world.

“Huh, I thought I saw some over here. I guess we were late to the party.” A feminine voice commented from nearby. From her vantage point, Aqua could make out the figures of two others. The one that spoke, a younger woman wielding an axe that seemed too big for her body, led the boy with her onto the rooftops that lay to one side of her. Upon seeing her, Kairi waved and grinned. “Hey Aqua! It’s been a while!”

Kairi and Sora had always came as a set, much like herself and Ven. Unlike she and Ven, the connection between the two of them ran far deeper than that of fighting partners. They kept their personal lives and their lives as someone like herself more entangled than she saw to be safe. From experience, it was wiser to maintain some degree of distance if the luxury of doing so was possible.

“We almost thought you were gone! Where’ve you been?” Sora added. Sora’s effortless, genuine friendliness reminded her of Ven. It was one of the aspects of him, of both of them, that she admired most. The large sword in his hand, it’s hilt fashioned to appear like wings, split into two identical swords which Sora tossed into the air. The swords vanished into specks of light before they could hit the ground.

Aqua carefully performed a tightrope across the telephone wire to land in front of them. “Just... busy. This is a large city – isn’t it better if we’re all in different places at one time?” She answered. The question had brought to mind images of lazy mornings, of a lover’s body against her own, of guilt rising inside her after she allowed herself to sink into the bliss of his embrace.

“Well, you don’t seem like you’re having many problems. We should get going... our boyfriend will be so mad if we show up to school tomorrow exhausted.” Kairi giggled. Aqua failed to recall how she had juggled the final years of school and her relationship with her nightly battles. She smiled to herself. Sora and Kairi appeared to be just fine.

“We won’t if the coffee works!” Sora insisted. Kairi gave Aqua a mock salute before turning on her heels and wandering off towards another district. Her partner sat down on the edge of the rooftop rather than joining her. “You know you can always come with us, right? I know you do great alone, but it’s got to get lonely.”

She nodded. “I know. And it does, sometimes... you’re lucky to have Kairi, and someone waiting for you at home.” Her hand rested on top of his head, though it jolted back once her fingers were nestled against his messy brown locks. “Thanks for the offer, but I think I can manage. Stay safe, Sora.”

“–Come on, Sora!”

“Stay safe, Aqua! See you around!” Sora scrambled to his feet and ran over to meet Kairi. The grin on his face was infectious – there was only one other person she knew that had such a talent for making other people smile. She gazed up at the sky; it would be sunrise soon. All of the creatures would creep back into their cracks and crevices until nightfall.

Familiar curtains rustled in the houses nearby. The homes on these streets were tightly packed, made to fit as many people as possible in such a small space without the cost of elaborate skyscrapers. She had failed to realise that they had been close to Riku’s home. Aqua hopped down from the rooftop and placed a hand against her gem. It had blackened since she had woken up; it was lucky that Riku’s was so close by. She tapped on the door.

“Oh... Do you need anything?” Riku sounded tired, as though awoken from deep slumber. He had forgone his shirt when answering the door. The sight had been engraved in her memory for a while. It no longer surprised or flustered her, although she couldn’t help but appreciate his commitment to maintaining an attractive figure. Before Aqua could say a word, he held his hand up against her gem to caress the stone. The darkness inside it followed his fingertips. She leaned forward to kiss him but was interrupted by a hand on her shoulder, preventing her from moving any closer to him.

“I– I thought that, maybe– I could come inside?”

“...There’s no need for that. It’s late, and I have a tough day tomorrow.” He turned her to one side, to see herself in the reflection of his window. “See? Your gem is fine now.” He was correct - her gem was a bright shade of blue, glowing softly as though she had never fought at all. Riku was as talented with his skill as always. The quick recovery felt wrong, suspicious even. 

“I-” She was a mature woman - she wouldn’t cry, or scream at him, if he didn’t want to be with her that night. Aqua quickly pressed a kiss to his cheek. Riku was caught off guard, but her sweet display of affection made him frown instead of smile. “Thank you, Riku.” She muttered. 

Aqua went back to the rooftops, cursing herself for making such a fool out of herself. There was a commotion below, the clang of metal against the ground. Aqua turned, startled, but it was only a trash can. Xion jumped back into Riku’s arms, her movements shaky but not as weak as she had been the last night that they had encountered each other. There was a glow to Xion’s cheeks and a bruise artfully placed on her neck. Neither she or Riku met Aqua’s eyes, or noticed her watching.

“...Thanks. I... I should be fine, now.” Xion shoved Riku’s arm off of her. “What am I saying? I shouldn’t be thanking you! I bet you’ll tell everyone else about– about what happened in there.”

“Why would I say anything? I’ve got more to lose if word gets out. Sora and Kairi will never know a thing, so long as you keep your mouth shut. Our secret’s safe with me.” Riku hissed under his breath. He picked up Xion’s favourite dagger and lovingly traced a finger over the gem. It’s glow seemed more akin to a fluorescent light than a gem belonging to a magical girl. “I’ll see you at school.”

She pulled her hood over her head and snatched the dagger from his hand. Rather than dignifying him with a response, she crept into the darkness of the unlit streets with the downcast gaze of someone bearing a guilty conscience. Aqua watched her leave. Her mind was preoccupied with the mention of the two that had just left her side. What did Sora and Kairi have to do with this? The four of them appeared to attend the same school. It was nothing more than that. It had to be nothing more than that, unless–

Unless Riku was the ‘boyfriend’ that Kairi had mentioned. It made too much sense not to be true but Aqua found herself wishing that it didn’t. Riku had never mentioned any partners, not even in passing. She had been seeing him for over two years now, yet she had never been given the impression that Riku had been taken. She sighed. There were a plethora of reasons why Riku would avoid the topic – if his partners knew nothing, what they had been doing was classified as Riku being unfaithful. The question that dug at her mind now, though, was how long he had been keeping these secrets.


	5. What You'd Lose

They had met during class and chosen a place to meet for the project. Xion’s dorm room was a cramped space for somewhere that was supposed to house up to four girls. She had explained, primarily to Kairi, that the other girls would be out, so they would be able to work on the project inside the dorm without any interruptions. Boys were allowed inside during the day – Riku, Sora and Kairi wouldn’t stay after the moon had risen, and he doubted that Xion would either.

His limbs hung casually over the edge of one of the bunk beds. There were no differences between the girls’ and boys’ dorms. Riku had lived as a residential student until a year ago, when he had told the staff that he had ‘found an older cousin who was willing to let him stay with them’. The truth was that had been living alone for a year, supported by various odd jobs and the kindness of a mutual friend. Compared to his home the dorms now seemed claustrophobic.

Sora was stretched out on his lap. He and Kairi had walked into class with coffee cups in their hands and hadn’t stopped refilling them all day. Kairi was currently at the coffee machine, collecting their fifth or sixth cup. It was natural for Riku to worry about them whenever the blinking of their eyes brought to his notice the dark rings underneath them. Riku took the small keychain that Sora always kept in his pocket, a red orb, and rolled it around in his fingers. Sora didn’t notice. He chuckled, playing with his boyfriend’s chestnut-coloured hair.

“...Where’d you get that?” He heard Sora mumble when he blinked his eyes open. Sora pointed at the gem on the end of his keychain, which Riku had kept in his hand. The gem was warmed by the heat of his skin. A hand reached for it. Riku kissed his forehead, then his nose, which scrunched up in a way that reminded him of a rabbit, then finally reached his lips. He held onto his hand as he kissed him, the gem between the two of them. Riku let out a sigh as he felt the familiar warmth, the rush of darkness. If Kairi was in the same state, there was no wonder that they had barely managed to survive without coffee for a moment.

Riku smiled down at him. “It fell out of your pocket. Now, where were we–?”

“We’re back! Sorry, there was a line.” Kairi burst into the room, followed by Xion. She held two steaming cups of coffee in her hand, which Sora eagerly broke away from Riku to take from her. It was Xion that had encouraged them to use her room as their base, yet now she appeared uncomfortable with the invasion of her space. She sat down on the floor while Kairi made herself comfortable on the bottom bunk of the other bed. Kairi pulled out a pink laptop.

“None for me?” He pretended to pout, which earned him nothing but a mockingly sympathetic look from Kairi and a flask being shoved into his face by Sora. Riku took a sip, the warm beverage soothing the icy glare that Xion aimed in his direction.

Kairi glanced up at him. Sora climbed up to the top bunk of the other bed to watch Kairi’s screen. There were safer ways to do so than hanging his head off of the railing but Riku was willing to blame half of it on the caffeine. “Work first, coffee later.” She told him.

Riku initially sat on the bottom bunk opposite her, then took a seat next to her with a kiss against her cheek and an arm around her waist. Kairi leaned against him while he murmured suggestions for the project in her ear. Sora chimed in from time to time despite his view from the top bunk was limited. Xion said nothing other than mumbled assent from time to time.

The difference between the young woman that had been invited into their project group and the one that he had met in the early hours of the morning was as striking as the difference between night and day. Without her blades at her waist, she seemed to sink into her shell. Kairi tapped her shoulder every few minutes to look over their work, to which Xion would always respond with a nod. She avoided meeting his eyes, as though she hadn’t been staring into them all night. The image brought him no pleasure except for the memory of the high that she had brought him to. He had wondered how she was still alive with such a vast amount of darkness encased in her gem. But there she was, still very much alive, and the darkness that almost killed her now coursed through his veins.

His phone buzzed from his pocket. The sound made Sora jump, interrupted from his drift into much-needed slumber. Kairi giggled and Xion held a hand over her mouth. Her laughter was quiet. Even when she expressed joy, she resisted drawing attention to herself. Riku rested against Kairi’s side while he read the message. It was from a number that he had previously messaged months ago. A sigh left him. Aqua. He stood up and stepped out into the hallway, not without a glance at Sora and Kairi. Sora was attempting to give her what he described as a ‘Spider-Man kiss’ by hanging upside-down on the top of the bunk bed.

He read over the text again. ‘We need to talk’. It was an ominous message to send without any clarification, without any context at all. He traced his memories back to the previous night, to his encounter with Aqua outside his home. The expression on her face that night – solemn eyes and lips contorted into a frown – screamed to him of hurt, or betrayal. Sometimes Aqua was impossible to understand. At other times, he felt as though she was the only person that understood.

‘We need to talk.’

Riku turned his phone off and slipped it back into his pocket. He returned back to Xion’s dorm room, back to the welcoming smiles of his partners. Sora was in Kairi’s lap now, chattering about the project. Xion had brightened up and added her own suggestions, encouraged by Kairi and Sora’s friendly conversation. There was no doubt that her timidity vanished once he had left; his assumption was confirmed when Xion’s next sentence trailed off into a muttered ‘nothing’. He took a seat next to Kairi again and trailed his fingers through Sora’s hair. A gentle kiss from her alerted him to his lack of attention on their project. He kissed her in return, fingers caressing the necklace that hung around her neck. With them, he never craved for anything more. Aqua’s message repeated itself in his head. Without them, he thought, there was nothing that he could do but crave.


	6. Business or Pleasure

It had been an impulse decision, but one that had gone rather well. The ‘friend of a friend’ that had rented Riku his apartment was all too willing to rid himself of the second floor apartment and now Aqua had a place that was truly her own. Her previous home had been too expensive to keep, and every corner was filled with reminders of her former fiancé. Furniture that he had bought for them, neighbours that only knew her after Terra’s introduction and all of the other useless trinkets that they had adorned their home with. Her new apartment was sparsely furnished and undecorated, but it was _hers_. The idea made Aqua grin, until she was reminded of who her new neighbour was.

“I knew I heard noise up here. What-” Riku held his hand against his forehead with a shake of his head. Seeing Aqua with a box that held the last of her few belongings, in the first-floor apartment that had previously been empty, must have made it simple for him to piece together what Aqua was doing there. “What are you doing, Aqua?”

Aqua took the keys to the apartment out of her pocket and waved them in front of his nose. She savoured the soft jingling sound they made. “Moving in. What does it look like? I would have called you for help, but... I figured that you would be busy. You know, with exams and... other obligations.”

“...You should have told me first. Instead, you sent cryptic texts and moved in without warning. You said you wanted to talk. Okay, fine, let’s talk.” He rested his hand against a cabinet. 

Her walk to the building, the single place that she knew he would be without fail, had been spent rehearsing the words that would come out of her lips when she met him. In that moment, trapped by his shining eyes, those lines were forgotten. Aqua placed the box in her arms down and stared at him, trying to recall the sensation that had overwhelmed her when she had learned that he had not one, but two partners that trusted him and loved him and provided him with all the love that he could possibly need. But his eyes drowned the fire that had boiled inside of her, capturing whatever thoughts that had previously filled her mind with discontent.

“So?” Riku asked after a moment.

Aqua leaned over to kiss him. And this time, for reasons that she failed to comprehend, he had kissed her back. She had expected anything but this; anger, pain, the desperation of a man that realised how much he had to lose. Instead, Riku calmly grazed his fingers over her gem and tilted her chin upwards to face him.

“How long has it been? Have you been with them this entire time? What about... the night we met?” Her questions were splintered whispers trapped between kisses. She felt tears well up in her eyes. His silence, his insistent kisses against her neck and collarbone, the way that he tugged on her oversized shirt – each spoke louder than any words that could have left his mouth. “...You’ve been hiding this the entire time.” She concluded as Riku picked her up and laid her down on her sofa.

“ _We’ve_ been hiding this. You’re part of it too. You understand why I help you out, don’t you?” His fingers laced through her hair. It had grown longer since the first night they had spent together, no longer hastily chopped in her bathroom mirror. Their lips met again, for once eerily soft instead of hungry. His fingers were playing with her hair instead of the smooth surface of her gem.

She broke the kiss and held onto the side of his face to push strands of silver behind his ear. “I know... I know. But Riku...” Aqua’s lips twitched into a smile, a teasing, impish expression. “There’s hardly anything for you to take.” She took his hand and placed it over the gem. The tiniest threads of darkness responded to his touch. It was nothing substantial to him, not in comparison to others who would provide him with more darkness than he would likely be able to handle. “We- we can stop now, if you don’t want to- I’d understand-”

Riku’s answer was another long, lingering kiss and two shirts dropping onto the floor of her new apartment. For someone that had only arrived to talk, Riku was oddly quiet. When their lips were no longer locked, Riku’s head was buried in her shoulder, his breathing heavy against her skin as his nails raked over her back. She bit her lip until she tasted blood; the sensation of the scratches that she knew would create a raised, red trail over her skin was more pleasurable than battle had ever been. Her mind returned to the image of the hastily-covered bruise that Xion had on her neck when she had seen her and Riku together.

“Bite me.” When she was met with a raised eyebrow from Riku, she repeated the request. “Riku, bite me. What’s wrong? I’ve got no one to discover it- to see what’s been going on under their noses for years-” She realised what she had said after the words had left her mouth. Riku stared at her, blinking as though he too couldn’t believe the harshness of her tone. His teeth grazed her neck, and every motion of his body against hers grew rougher. She wasn’t some delicate thing that would shy away from him after each encounter; she would meet him where he was. Her breath hitched in her throat as his lips created marks, a deep purple contrasting her pale skin. Riku’s name was the only thing on her lips that evening.

Her arm reached out to him before he could think of leaving. “Don’t go yet... I thought you wanted to talk.” She said in a soft, breathless voice that she could only recall hearing after Riku was done with her. Aqua was sprawled out on her sofa, in an apartment that didn’t look inhabited yet. Her apartment. For once, not Riku’s. For once, _he_ had visited _her_. For once, there hadn’t even been the illusion of darkness inside of her yet Riku still touched her with the urgency of someone who had been overtaken by it.

“I thought we have nothing left to say to each other.” Riku’s back was turned. Aqua heard the click of his belt buckle as he dressed himself in preparation to leave. He turned around. Aqua took his shirt from the floor and tossed it at him, although she couldn’t help but wonder how the fabric would hang off of her own frame, how comfortable it would be to wear around her new home. “...But obviously, you do.” He sat down beside her. “What is it?”

Aqua held onto his hand. His fingers entwined so perfectly with her own. She had thought that about someone else’s hands once and she was certain that she would not be the last to think such things about Riku. Not even in that moment would she ever be the first or last of anything to him. A bittersweet notion but Aqua thought herself lucky that she could be anything to him at all.

“You... knew that there was nothing wrong with me. But you did it anyway. Why would you, if–“ She took a deep breath and tightened her grip on his hand. Her nails dug into his skin to leave small crescent-moon shapes there. “If you have someone that can give you all the darkness you need, or even better, someone that can do that without destroying your relationship...?”

“I think you already know why. You clearly needed me, and, well...”

“What?”

Riku glanced towards the door, then back at her. “Nothing. I forgot what I was going to say.” Aqua could think of many things that he could have said to her, things that could conveniently be ‘forgotten’ before the situation between them grew more difficult to escape. His hand started to slip from hers as he stepped closer to the door.

“Riku, wait–“ She ran over to hug him from behind. The embrace brought back memories of another half-unpacked home, years prior, and another young man with captivating eyes and a serious expression engraved onto his face. “–I love you.” The words had slipped out without a second thought, without a moment of deliberation. They were said in the same blissful, sickly-sweet cadence. It felt as though she was drunk; if that were true, at least there would be a hangover to remind her not to repeat her mistakes. “Thank you.” Aqua stammered in the faint hope that he hadn’t heard her.

“I should go. And Aqua?” Riku put a hand on the doorknob to see himself out but the other was cupped against Aqua’s face when he turned to leave. Her heart hammered in her chest and tears swelled in her eyes. What had she done? He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, surprisingly chaste considering their earlier encounter and what he might have heard. “...I think you’re right. I need to focus on my partners, for now.”

“...I won’t say a thing.”

A hand wiped her tears from her eyes and hugged her close. She felt a wave of safety surround her then, nestled in the crook of his neck. It was an ocean that appeared shallow at first, water that no one realised that someone could drown in. Riku rubbed circles into her back. “I know you won’t. I know.”


End file.
